I was in NYC at a movement class when I heard “You prioritize what you’re connected to.” And it hit me, can you believe we have been tricked into thinking we can experience TRUE connection through a screen? Behind a keyboard?
A few days ago, my friend mentioned a podcast covering ways to incorporate digital detoxing into our lives, the week before that I had heard the quote on connection and purchased a book titled “How to break up with your phone.” Divine timing, I guess. I find it astonishing we’re now needing books, podcasts and other resources to help us with strategies to lessen the amount of time we’re spending online. Heck, it takes a lot of intention and miles of travel to even get away from phone towers and Wi-Fi signal.
taken with my beloved iPhone near Lake Tahoe CA :- )
I know I’m not alone in realizing the first thing we do upon waking after turning off the alarm is checking yesterday’s notifications. Or for some, continually checking the phone throughout the night. If we really take time to discover the impact these devices are having on us, it is mind blowing. We’re spending HOURS a day looking at the dang thing. We’re constantly checking it in anticipation for something new, exciting. We’re validating ourselves based on the number of likes a post has. We’re literally allowing our mood to be determined by our phones. If I’m being totally honest, we don’t own a phone – the phones own us. Our phones and social media platforms combined know more about us than our closest relationships… let that one sink in. We’re shaping our identities and emotional intelligence around a platform that literally lets you be WHOEVER you want to be. You can cultivate exactly what your life looks like. And now, we’re numb to it. We are trapped by it.
Nowadays our devices go everywhere with us. Any intimate, alone time I used to have – now my phone joins me. Upon reflection of this I was literally baffled. Using the toilet? Grab my phone. Going to take a bath to relax? Grab my phone. Going to sit down for a sec? Grab my phone. Waiting in line? Grab my phone. Getting in the car? Grab my phone. And the time spent on social media and on my iPhone in general is unproductive – usually a series of minutes passing scrolling, comparing, desiring, judging. My brain was never getting a break!!! The constant checking and mindless scrolling isn’t mindless – it’s using neurologic capacity. We were never created to multitask - we aren’t machines. What drives the nail deeper, is that the more “pick ups” I average, the worse my mood that week. Unreal.
Regardless of what anyone says, we do have a choice. Even if you use your phone for your job, you have a choice!!! App and device developers have sold us the biggest lie. They give you the illusion that you’re in control. They allow you to change certain settings, give feedback or reviews when there is something you’re unsatisfied with and the best part is that most apps are FREE. Who’s actually paying the developers for the app itself? The advertisers. And what do the advertisers get paid off of? Your attention!!! They literally get paid for how many times you click; how much of your time, attention and awareness is given to their product. Waking up to this is the first step. You have a choice.
What’s more are the deepest neurologic effects occurring when we’re on a screen ALL DAY EVERY DAY. Parents know the detriments of this for their children; limiting the time they’re allowed. But next time you’re at a park or the mall pay attention to what the parents are doing – looking down at their phones. It’s a literal addiction. We’re invested physiologically, emotionally and neurologically.
So in my time reflecting these questions came up; why is it so scary (for most of us) to think about unplugging from online platforms? Who will we be without an account online? “ Will I even be relevant?” The one that truly changed things for me, is if I want to work to be known or be worth knowing?
Now that iPhone’s have the screen time tracking application, it’s hard to ignore the amount of time you’re spending picking that thing up or looking at it. What if we began using it like a tool again, the original use for the device – to be a resource, for life’s convenience. Starting this week, I’m focusing on the balance of using the device, staying connected, but actually LIVING outside of the virtual reality. Taking a vow to keep the social media apps deleted off my phone and only using a browser when I want to check them, going to seriously utilize the screen time application – when I’ve met my limit, I’ve met my limit no more being reminded in 15 more minutes. I also want to incorporate digital detoxes 1-2x a month. A full 48 hours PHONE OFF – just scheduled it on my calendar.
“You prioritize what you’re connected to.” Lets reconnect with ourselves and those around us. Let’s reconnect with our boundaries, emotional health, mental health, our CREATOR, his creation and no longer live this life like a technology zombie. Who’s with me?!
-M